I guess it's safe to say that I took the road less traveled by. I always believed in passions over stability. It's easy enough to choose a major or a career because you know it will be easy to find a job and your whole life could be set but I challenge that idea. Life is too short and too precious to waste fitting into some "mold" and conforming to society.
I've thought long and hard about what I wanted to do with my life, even though I feel I have felt a certain way for a really long time. Ever since I can remember I have loved to read and books where the best presents I ever got. In life you tend to cling to what makes the most sense in the chaos. For those reasons I've picked a few careers or jobs since childhood. I remember some of my first ideas were that I wanted to work at a supermarket and be a cashier.... This was my earliest and most naive of childhood dreams. I don't know what it was but I liked the simplicity of scanning the items, placing them in the bag and taking the money. Something so simple and trivial I found so fascinating and inspiring.
I remember my next dream was to become a librarian. Often times growing up, my mom would take me to the library to check out books. I found this to be so exciting and thrilling and where I like to attribute my start for my love of books. Again, I loved the simplicity of the lady who checked out my books. I loved when she would scan them and stamp the return date on the little card that was placed inside the front cover. Something about the repetition made it seem interesting, probably something I will never understand.
As I got older, I become exposed to magazines and they become obsessions of mine. To me, they were like short books. They had interesting stories and graphics and featured my favorite celebrities. I mostly loved reading the teen magazines where I could catch up on the latest gossip and stay up to date. From then on I knew that I wanted to produce a magazine with exciting content that young girls would love. I had so many ideas but I had no idea about the complexity of actually trying to achieve that goal. I just had an idea and ideas as kids or young adults seem obtainable because we never really had a major obstacle to overcome. Nothing in our lives were complicated and our minds were not yet warped by the stresses of reality. I held onto that dream for as long as I could. Even when I started college I held onto that dream. I didn't know what to expect and I just thought that somehow and someway it was going to happen. I kept pushing the fears away until I realized that I needed to face them and realize what I was up against. I also needed to listen to my heart and know that maybe my passions were changing.
Even though I continued to be a Journalism major in the hopes that it would lead me in the right direction, I knew I had other goals. After being exposed to different fields and listening to my inner voice, I decided that books is where my heart will always stay. My latest and current passion is to be a book publisher. Maybe I don't know the technical term, but I want to be the one who reads the books and will decided whether they are worth publishing or not. I want to be a part of the birth of the next great novel or series. That is what really excites me. The strange thing about all this is that my current goal isn't much easier to achieve. I think I'm more comforted by it because I know my passion will get me there. I'm more connected to this goal then I was to the other. It's definitely still an interesting career and for one in which I will be jealous of.
I know that everything happens for a reason and the reasons might not always make sense, but I have to believe that if there is something out there that I want, that it is not impossible to achieve it.
I started my last semester of college just 3 weeks ago and we were all asked what our future looks like after graduation. I don't really have a clue and what comforted me was that no one did either. It was strange to hear that because I didn't feel so alone and I didn't feel lost anymore. I still don't know where I am going EXACTLY but I have a good idea as to which direction I want to go in. There are big things out there for me, I just hope I find them.
